I have seen this before
I had written a blog and posted it about this new patient I am seeing. But last night, upon reflection I realized that I was saying things from a perspective that I know what is best for her. I realized that I do not have the slightest clue of what is right, good or much lest BEST for her. Sure I have my ideas, and I can rationally defend my reasons for each one of them.
But what is more true is that I realize that she is doing the best that she can and she is working with her options in the best way that she can. What my job is becomes twofold: first of all recognize that I was holding on to some judgement (I know what you need to do...) AND DROP THAT, IMMEDIATELY. Next I need to support her, encourage her and get out of the way. Where she is at and what she is experiencing IS PERFECT FOR HER SPIRITUAL GROWTH. So it 'hurts' a little bit. Well as one teacher in my history once told me "When it hurts enough you will stop doing it."
I remember a saying from the book The Communication Catalyst It does not matter how fast you are going if you are on the wrong highway. This is a true statement, but I was the one that had to realize that I was on the wrong highway. Rushing towards judgement is not where I want to go. So no matter how fast I was traveling I was not going to get where I want to be.
Till next time