I have seen this before

A couple of years back, at the beginning of my blog I wrote about how I was seeing a lady that her emotional life was significantly affecting her physical life. In her case she was unable to eat solid foods, she was literally unable to 'stomach' what had happened and more importantly how she thought about what had happened.

I had written a blog and posted it about this new patient I am seeing. But last night, upon reflection I realized that I was saying things from a perspective that I know what is best for her. I realized that I do not have the slightest clue of what is right, good or much lest BEST for her. Sure I have my ideas, and I can rationally defend my reasons for each one of them.

But what is more true is that I realize that she is doing the best that she can and she is working with her options in the best way that she can. What my job is becomes twofold: first of all recognize that I was holding on to some judgement (I know what you need to do...) AND DROP THAT, IMMEDIATELY. Next I need to support her, encourage her and get out of the way. Where she is at and what she is experiencing IS PERFECT FOR HER SPIRITUAL GROWTH. So it 'hurts' a little bit. Well as one teacher in my history once told me "When it hurts enough you will stop doing it."

I remember a saying from the book The Communication Catalyst It does not matter how fast you are going if you are on the wrong highway. This is a true statement, but I was the one that had to realize that I was on the wrong highway. Rushing towards judgement is not where I want to go. So no matter how fast I was traveling I was not going to get where I want to be.

Till next time